Book: The Confessions of J. J. Rousseau, Book XII.

J >> Jean Jacques Rousseau >> The Confessions of J. J. Rousseau, Book XII.




But the journey was not, in my situation, a thing so easy to get over.
According to what M. Dastier had told me of Corsica, I could not expect
to find there the most simple conveniences of life, except such as I
should take with me; linen, clothes, plate, kitchen furniture, and books,
all were to be conveyed thither. To get there myself with my
gouvernante, I had the Alps to cross, and in a journey of two hundred
leagues to drag after me all my baggage; I had also to pass through the
states of several sovereigns, and according to the example set to all
Europe, I had, after what had befallen me, naturally to expect to find
obstacles in every quarter, and that each sovereign would think he did
himself honor by overwhelming me with some new insult, and violating in
my person all the rights of persons and humanity. The immense expense,
fatigue, and risk of such a journey made a previous consideration of
them, and weighing every difficulty, the first step necessary. The idea
of being alone, and, at my age, without resource, far removed from all my
acquaintance, and at the mercy of these semi-barbarous and ferocious
people, such as M. Dastier had described them to me, was sufficient to
make me deliberate before I resolved to expose myself to such dangers.
I ardently wished for the interview for which M. Buttafuoco had given me
reason to hope, and I waited the result of it to guide me in my
determination.

Whilst I thus hesitated came on the persecutions of Motiers, which
obliged me to retire. I was not prepared for a long journey, especially
to Corsica. I expected to hear from Buttafuoco; I took refuge in the
island of St. Peter, whence I was driven at the beginning of winter, as I
have already stated. The Alps, covered with snow, then rendered my
emigration impracticable, especially with the promptitude required from
me. It is true, the extravagant severity of a like order rendered the
execution of it almost impossible; for, in the midst of that concentred
solitude, surrounded by water, and having but twenty-four hours after
receiving the order to prepare for my departure, and find a boat and
carriages to get out of the island and the territory, had I had wings,
I should scarcely have been able to pay obedience to it. This I wrote to
the bailiff of Nidau, in answer to his letter, and hastened to take my
departure from a country of iniquity. In this manner was I obliged to
abandon my favorite project, for which reason, not having in my
oppression been able to prevail upon my persecutors to dispose of me
otherwise, I determined, in consequence of the invitation of my lord
marshal, upon a journey to Berlin, leaving Theresa to pass the winter in
the island of St. Peter, with my books and effects, and depositing my
papers in the hands of M. du Peyrou. I used so much diligence that the
next morning I left the island and arrived at Bienne before noon. An
accident, which I cannot pass over in silence, had here well nigh put an
end to my journey.

As soon as the news or my having received an order to quit my asylum was
circulated, I received a great number of visits from the neighborhood,
and especially from the Bernois, who came with the most detestable
falsehood to flatter and soothe me, protesting that my persecutors had
seized the moment of the vacation of the senate to obtain and send me the
order, which, said they, had excited the indignation of the two hundred.
Some of these comforters came from the city of Bienne, a little free
state within that of Berne, and amongst others a young man of the name of
Wildremet whose family was of the first rank, and had the greatest credit
in that city. Wildremet strongly solicited me in the name of his
fellow-citizens to choose my retreat amongst them, assuring me that they
were anxiously desirous of it, and that they would think it an honor and
their duty to make me forget the persecutions I had suffered; that with
them I had nothing to fear from the influence of the Bernois, that
Bienne was a free city, governed by its own laws, and that the citizens
were unanimously resolved not to hearken to any solicitation which
should be unfavorable to me.

Wildremet perceiving all he could say to be ineffectual, brought to his
aid several other persons, as well from Bienne and the environs as from
Berne; even, and amongst others, the same Kirkeberguer, of whom I have
spoken, who, after my retreat to Switzerland had endeavored to obtain my
esteem, and by his talents and principles had interested me in his favor.
But I received much less expected and more weighty solicitations from M.
Barthes, secretary to the embassy from France, who came with Wildremet to
see me, exhorted me to accept his invitation, and surprised me by the
lively and tender concern he seemed to feel for my situation. I did not
know M. Barthes; however I perceived in what he said the warmth and zeal
of friendship, and that he had it at heart to persuade me to fix my
residence at Bienne. He made the most pompous eulogium of the city and
its inhabitants, with whom he showed himself so intimately connected as
to call them several times in my presence his patrons and fathers.

This from Barthes bewildered me in my conjectures. I had always
suspected M. de Choisuel to be the secret author of all the persecutions
I suffered in Switzerland. The conduct of the resident of Geneva,
and that of the ambassador at Soleure but too much confirmed my
suspicion; I perceived the secret influence of France in everything that
happened to me at Berne, Geneva and Neuchatel, and I did not think I had
any powerful enemy in that kingdom, except the Duke de Choiseul. What
therefore could I think of the visit of Barthes and the tender concern he
showed for my welfare? My misfortunes had not yet destroyed the
confidence natural to my heart, and I had still to learn from experience
to discern snares under the appearance of friendship. I sought with
surprise the reason of the benevolence of M. Barthes; I was not weak
enough to believe he had acted from himself; there was in his manner
something ostentatious, an affectation even which declared a concealed
intention, and I was far from having found in any of these little
subaltern agents, that generous intrepidity which, when I was in a
similar employment, had often caused a fermentation in my heart. I had
formerly known something of the Chevalier Beauteville, at the castle of
Montmorency; he had shown me marks of esteem; since his appointment to
the embassy he had given me proofs of his not having entirely forgotten
me, accompanied with an invitation to go and see him at Soleure. Though
I did not accept this invitation, I was extremely sensible of his
civility, not having been accustomed to be treated with such kindness by
people in place. I presume M. de Beauteville, obliged to follow his
instructions in what related to the affairs of Geneva, yet pitying me
under my misfortunes, had by his private cares prepared for me the asylum
of Bienne, that I might live there in peace under his auspices. I was
properly sensible of his attention, but without wishing to profit by it
and quite determined upon the journey to Berlin, I sighed after the
moment in which I was to see my lord marshal, persuaded I should in
future find zeal repose and lasting happiness nowhere but near his
person.

On my departure from the island, Kirkeberguer accompanied me to Bienne.
I found Wildremet and other Biennois, who, by the water side, waited my
getting out of the boat. We all dined together at the inn, and on my
arrival there my first care was to provide a chaise, being determined to
set off the next morning. Whilst we were at dinner these gentlemen
repeated their solicitations to prevail upon me to stay with them, and
this with such warmth and obliging protestations, that notwithstanding
all my resolutions, my heart, which has never been able to resist
friendly attentions, received an impression from theirs; the moment they
perceived I was shaken, they redoubled their efforts with so much effect
that I was at length overcome, and consented to remain at Bienne, at
least until the spring.

Wildremet immediately set about providing me with a lodging, and boasted,
as of a fortunate discovery, of a dirty little chamber in the back of the
house, on the third story, looking into a courtyard, where I had for a
view the display of the stinking skins of a dresser of chamois leather.
My host was a man of a mean appearance, and a good deal of a rascal; the
next day after I went to his house I heard that he was a debauchee, a
gamester, and in bad credit in the neighborhood. He had neither wife,
children, nor servants, and shut up in my solitary chamber, I was in the
midst of one of the most agreeable countries in Europe, lodged in a
manner to make me die of melancholy in the course of a few days. What
affected me most was, that, notwithstanding what I had heard of the
anxious wish of the inhabitants to receive me amongst them, I had not
perceived, as I passed through the streets, anything polite towards me in
their manners, or obliging in their looks. I was, however, determined to
remain there; but I learned, saw, and felt, the day after, that there was
in the city a terrible fermentation, of which I was the cause. Several
persons hastened obligingly to inform me that on the next day I was to
receive an order conceived in the most severe terms, immediately to quit
the state, that is the city. I had nobody in whom I could confide; they
who had detained me were dispersed. Wildremet had disappeared; I heard
no more of Barthes, and it did not appear that his recommendation had
brought me into great favor with those whom he had styled his patrons and
fathers. One M. de Van Travers, a Bernois, who had an agreeable house
not far from the city, offered it to me for my asylum, hoping, as he
said, that I might there avoid being stoned. The advantage this offer
held out was not sufficiently flattering to tempt me to prolong my abode
with these hospitable people.

Yet, having lost three days by the delay, I had greatly exceeded the
twenty-four hours the Bernois had given me to quit their states, and
knowing their severity, I was not without apprehensions as to the manner
in which they would suffer me to cross them, when the bailiff of Nidau
came opportunely and relieved me from my embarrassment. As he had highly
disapproved of the violent proceedings of their excellencies, he thought,
in his generosity, he owed me some public proof of his taking no part in
them, and had courage to leave his bailiwick to come and pay me a visit
at Bienne. He did me this favor the evening before my departure, and far
from being incognito he affected ceremony, coming in fiocchi in his coach
with his secretary, and brought me a passport in his own name that I
might cross the state of Berne at my ease, and without fear of
molestation. I was more flattered by the visit than by the passport,
and should have been as sensible of the merit of it, had it had for
object any other person whatsoever. Nothing makes a greater impression
on my heart than a well-timed act of courage in favor of the weak
unjustly oppressed.

At length, after having with difficulty procured a chaise, I next morning
left this barbarous country, before the arrival of the deputation with
which I was to be honored, and even before I had seen Theresa, to whom I
had written to come to me, when I thought I should remain at Bienne,
and whom I had scarcely time to countermand by a short letter, informing
her of my new disaster. In the third part of my memoirs, if ever I be
able to write them, I shall state in what manner, thinking to set off for
Berlin, I really took my departure for England, and the means by which
the two ladies who wished to dispose of my person, after having by their
manoeuvres driven me from Switzerland, where I was not sufficiently in
their power, at last delivered me into the hands of their friend.

I added what follows on reading my memoirs to M. and Madam, the Countess
of Egmont, the Prince Pignatelli, the Marchioness of Mesme, and the
Marquis of Juigne.

I have written the truth: if any person has heard of things contrary to
those I have just stated, were they a thousand times proved, he has heard
calumny and falsehood; and if he refuses thoroughly to examine and
compare them with me whilst I am alive, he is not a friend either to
justice or truth. For my part, I openly, and without the least fear
declare, that whoever, even without having read my works, shall have
examined with his own eyes, my disposition, character, manners,
inclinations, pleasures, and habits, and pronounce me a dishonest man,
is himself one who deserves a gibbet.

Thus I concluded, and every person was silent; Madam d'Egmont was the
only person who seemed affected; she visibly trembled, but soon recovered
herself, and was silent like the rest of the company. Such were the
fruits of my reading and declaration.

Copyright (c) 2007. knowncrafts.net. All rights reserved.